How to Start Ice-Breaking by Sending Out the First Message
Dating Tips September, 25 2019 12.9k

There are many perfect single persons active on, so now how can you peak their interest? As a saying goes, “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression”. For online dating, your first message seems to be of great importance. The chance of you getting a response is directly dependent on what the person thinks of you after reading that first message. That’s especially true if you are a man sending an online dating first message to a woman.


So what to say in your first message that could help to break the ice and also make good first impression on the person you like? Here are the 4 ways to polish your first message:


Top 4 Tips for Writing a Great Online Dating First Message


#1: Talk more about “You” but not “I”

A frequent online dating first message mistake made by online daters is sending a message that uses the word “I” more than “you.” A 2011 study by Schöndienst and Dang-Xuan found that you are more likely to get a response by talking about the other person rather than yourself. So when crafting that first message, be sure to use “you” statements and questions:


“You sound like a very interesting person” (add why next).

“What’s the most romance thing that you’ve been experienced?”

“Would you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?”


#2: Be Original and Personable

Take a look at the the following two messages:


“Hey, what’s up? I like you hot picture very much and I am interested in you. I’m drama free and love to have a good time. I’m really funny. Let’s talk.”


“I really enjoyed that picture of you that you lying in the beach. Where was that taken at? How often will you go out to the beach? What do you have planned for your next big adventure?”


Which of the messages are you likely to respond to? Exactly, the second message is more inquisitive, taking something directly from the person’s image and turning it into a conversation starter. It’s a lot easier for someone to respond to the second message than the first.



#3: Emphasize Common Ground

In general, it’s good to send messages to people that seem to have a lot in common with you. That “common ground” is a good thing to exploit in your first message. If the person you are sending a message to sees that you like the same things as them, your chances of getting a response increase. Let’s say that you are messaging someone who absolutely loves to travel. It is something you love to do too. You can use that in your message:


“Wow. You seem very passionate about traveling. I thought I was the only one who couldn’t live without an adventure in the mountains of New Zealand or a rotation on the London Eye.”


The point is to find things you have in common and use those to elicit a response.


#4: Be Humor and Fun

Everyone loves to stay with a person who can make them laugh. So don’t be afraid to use humor in your message (especially if you are natural at it). Life would be much more easier (and fun) if you can make your partner laugh. You may start your chat by sending funny sentence like, “A 7-day free trial bring you to me.” or “Maybe you could save me from using Winkiworld.” and “Magic 8 Ball says Yes, Definitely.” If you can get your potential interest to laugh when they read your message then your chances of getting a response will skyrocket.


A well-crafted and meaningful message will skyrocket your chance at getting a response. So do your research, write your messages with confidence, and enjoy the success that better communication brings!


Do you have a tip for a better first message? If so, post it in the Comments section below.